By Simon Travaglia
The pretty-much-complete Bastard Operator sequence from 1995-2003
Painstakingly hand crafted by way of the unique writer.
Low fats and gluten unfastened to your convenience.
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Additional info for Bastard operator from hell
I close his account, he won’t be needing it any more.. The phone rings. It’s my Mum. ”Hi Ma, what can I do for you” ”Simon, I’ve got a problem at work, the floppy disk with all my personal stuff on it is failing I think” ”Oh. Ok. ” ”Yes” ”Ok, take your disk out, and clean that brown stuff off the inside of the disk. That’s what gets the heads dirty. You should just have a nice clean plastic disk when you’ve cleaned it completely” ”Oh, Ok Simon, Thanks” ”You’re welcome. 20 BOFH #15 It’s a warm afternoon in the computer room.
The Regional Manager is no dummy. They’re trained to recognise ”SHITHEAD” spelt backwards. And upside down. And reverse. And lipread. One stall down, 4 to go. I troll up to the next.. ” Mr Smiles says (In other words, how can I tuck you for an extra grand) ”Well I don’t really know. ” Mr Smiles likes the words ”Fast”, ”Top of the Line” and ”Expandable”. He runs over to a machine surrounded in glitter and advertising and gestures at it. ”This is probably what you want then. The latest thing. ” ”THIS baby will talk to ANYTHING.
A10. Join the club. I collect cameras... (Pentax K1000s by preference) & United frequent flyer miles perhaps? (grovel) Q11. When did the last BOFH come out? A11. December 1995 Q12. When did the first one come out? A12. Dunno, I didn’t pay attention at the time, I didn’t think it’d catch on. (I got some angry mail from people who didn’t like it and thought I denigrated the good name of Computer Support) Q13. Have you written anything else? A13. All sorts of stuff. It probably requires a well ’tuned’ sense of humour.